“As parents, we have to figure out where to draw the line between encouraging and allowing our teens to have autonomy, to experience their separate culture, and when we need to monitor their use of media,” says Kathryn Montgomery, author of Generation Digital: Politics, Commerce and Childhood in the Age of the Internet. She says it is especially important to help young people understand that social networking is often more public than they think. Sometimes monitoring them is the best way to do that.
Sample Child-Tracking Technologies
Software: Various programs can track Web activity and record online chats, instant messages and e-mail. Parents can receive reports and alerts by e-mail and, in some cases, by phone or text message. Prices range from $40 to $100 in one-time or annual fees.
Cell phones: GPS enables parents to locate a child’s phone on an online map. One service will text message parents if the phone leaves a predetermined zone. Monthly services typically cost $10 to $20.
Car: Devices can record distance, speed and driving behavior, such as hard braking and sharp turning. Some pinpoint a car’s location using Global Positioning System technology and alert parents if a teen driver exceeds a certain speed or leaves a defined geographic area. One, the CarChip, costs $139. Monthly services cost $20 and up.
Consider
If you are going to monitor your kids’ activity, it may be best to tell them you are doing it. If they know you’ll be monitoring, they may be more apt to be careful. Better to avoid problems altogether than to catch your kids in the act.
How do kids feel when adults start “encroaching” in their technology space?
“This is about parents being given tools to better protect their kids. That’s not Big Brother. That’s parenting,” said Jack Church of Teen Arrive Alive, a Florida company that offers Global Positioning System-enabled cell phones that allow parents to go online to check the location and speed of a car their child is driving or riding in.
In addition to monitoring activity, consider easing your children into new technology. If a younger child asks for a MySpace page, consider starting them out on Imbee.com, a social networking site for children that allows parental monitoring.
For more information about tracking your children’s use of technology, see Parents turn to tech toys to track teens.
This question seems obvious. Of course you should monitor your kids’ activities – online and offline. They should have increasing autonomy as they age and monitoring their activities does not prevent them from making choices, but it might help them to choose carefully. You should tell them you are monitoring what they are doing and you should take time to talk with them about their choices regularly both to praise and to caution. You children should begin to realize that your monitoring is designed to help them by adding your experience to recognize any danger early and alert them to it.
If it’s about catching them in sin and punishing them for it the monitoring will probably backfire.
I’d like to recommend a free service that helps block unwanted content: OpenDNS (www.opendns.com). By signing up for a free account, you can enable blocking for a number of types of sites, including but not limited to Pornography, Nudity, Lingerie/Bikini, Sexuality, and so on. You can also block a number of other site categories depending on your preferences, including but not limited to Alcohol, Drugs, Gambling, Proxy/Anonymizer, P2P/File sharing, Chat, Dating, and even Adware (there’s also a Phishing filter which is enabled by default; you can actually use this part of the service without even signing up for a free account).
You can set up OpenDNS on just one computer, on several individual computers or devices, or on your router so the settings will be in effect on all computers on your network. You can optionally install software on one or more of your computers that will automatically keep all your filter settings intact whenever your Internet service provider changes your IP address.
Again, this is a free service, and it works well for me, so it’s worth checking out before spending any money on another solution. Remember, though, that filtering should be only one part of your strategy of protecting your children online. You should also teach your children to make the right decisions about what they choose to do online. It’s also a good idea to keep your computers out in the open where anybody can walk by and see what’s on the screen, rather than putting the computer in a bedroom or other private room.
Another thought: Have you ever heard of accountability software? Accountability software is specifically for adults who want to guard where they go online without any blocking or filtering. Combined with filtering, it’s a great Internet safety solution for the whole family. If you want more info about it check out my post “Is Filtering All There Is?” – http://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/2008/06/12/is-filtering-all-there-is-introducing-accountability-software/
I think another area is emails. We have our two oldest of five that have emails through safe2read.com. This allows us to approve who can send them an email – the first time. We can then select that email address as not approved, trust or trust and watch. We do not read every email – but our kids know that we could open any of the emails from them or to them since we get a copy sent to our email address. It let’s them know they are being held accountable for what they write.
Also, another thing is to have the computer in an open area — not in a bedroom. We have a laptop they sometimes jump on if the family computer is being used too – and we had to set a rule that it could be used in the open end of the hall while sitting on the floor where everyone walks pass, or at the kitchen table. The family computer is right next to the TV in the family room. The desk is up against the wall so MOM can see the screen even from the kitchen.
The last thing we love is safe searching. My oldest – 14 – can only search for homework topics through the school district’s search engine. It connects to a Google Safe search. This has been a little bit of a relief for me, knowing that even if we do not have the newest filter system on our computer – the school district does.
These are just a few things we been able to do – when not able to afford the newest filters or programs.